some less than fantastic tips on how to seduce your professor:

1) Scoff every time he brings up his wife & kids

Allude to your superiority with throat clears and coughs. So she had his children, but you have his 401 class. All is fair in love and war.

2) Always wear something slutty to class

Nothing says, “I’m hot and intellectual,” like a tube top in December. Men appreciate the dedication.

3) Don’t do your homework

Make sure to turn in none of your assignments, instead, upload naked pictures of yourself in lieu of reading responses. Make sure they are late on MyCourses. Men love when you play hard to get.

4) Office hours

Attend these religiously. Make sure never to bring up any of the assignments. Ask him about his day and his dick size. Adults love this as it shows that you care about the little things.

5) Ask questions

Men love when you act interested. When he asks the class what year the Napoleonic Wars started, raise your hand and ask where he buys his loafers. This will be subtle and informative.

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