Being a senior sucks, but not for all of the reasons you would think.

Everything about my life since freshman year has changed, and mostly for the better, but it was really tough getting to this point. Everyone says “college is the best four years of your life,” and yeah that may be true, but how would we know? Anyway, let’s talk about why being a senior sucks.

What first comes to mind is this weird limbo of being stuck in between college and “adulthood.” As for any college student, no matter what year you are, this distinction can be difficult to make for yourself (and your parents) but I think these feelings are exemplified x10 as a senior. If you’re a senior, you probably know exactly what I’m talking about, if not, let me paint a picture.

Imagine this, you’re 21 or 22 years old, old enough to buy your own alcohol, own an apartment, rent a hotel or car and be classified as an adult… but you’re still expected to “be a good student.” I’ve realized that what I want isn’t to be a student anymore, I want so much more than that.

What I really want is to get out there and start living. For most of us in college, the majority of our lives have been spent in a classroom. But, I hope – at least for the near future – my last time in a classroom will be in May. I want to go travel and burst out of the small UNH bubble. My mind is far beyond writing a research paper for a history class, it’s being pulled in a thousand different directions -- it’s in a quaint Italian piazza or the Swiss alps, or back in London where I spent the past semester. It’s not at UNH anymore.

Here’s another scenario for you. Obviously as a senior, at this point you’ve met lots of people through classes, clubs, living in a dorm, or whatever else. I hope you’ve made some friends, too. In May, I will be separated from all the people I met four years ago. We’ve all experienced this to an extent, in high school or maybe in other situations. But I think college is different. For the most part, these people I’ve lived with and were my family, peers, coworkers and some that I’m not even friends anymore. Nonetheless, it’s difficult to face all of those goodbyes because you don’t which ones will be permanent – having the realization that all of us will never be in the same place again SUCKS! Not only is my mind somewhere abroad and thinking about all the people I’ll miss, it’s also scrambling to find an answer to the daunting question of “what do you want to do after graduation?”

My mind is thinking about jobs I could get post-graduation; if I need to move home or get an apartment, whether I should go to grad school eventually. I just don’t know where I’ll end up, so please stop asking me.

No matter if you have a plan after graduation or not, the future is still daunting because it’s different territory and there are so many pathways.

For me, there are so many things I want to do. Truthfully almost none of those things involve getting a job related to my degree. Yep, I said it. I want to travel, go see the world. Literally, I have so many options and I’m not tied down to anything (besides my student loans), why wouldn’t I utilize this time? For one, it’s intimidating not knowing what the future is going to hold. I’m more or less a planner, I need at least an idea of what I want to do, a goal I can work towards. This is the first time in my life I don’t have a set path and its insanely freeing yet so scary. We’re twenty something, I don’t know how my decisions will affect my future, but I can only do what will make me happy right now.

And lastly, the obvious reason – I’m going to miss college. I am. Despite everything that I’ve said in this article. It doesn’t matter that I’m sick of the same events the university has every year, the routine, that it’s all the same… those things are comforting. It’s a place where yes, I’ve had difficult times, but some amazing ones too. It will be very painful to step out of my last class knowing that’s it. Now what? I’ve spent the majority of my life in school and now what?

My experiences at UNH have changed me, so so much. More than I can even express on my keyboard. I’ve lost friends, met some amazing people in unlikely places, have broadened my knowledge about myself and the world, laughed harder than I ever have as well as cried more times than I can count. I wouldn’t be who I am today without the experiences of the past four years. But you know what they say, when one door closes, another one opens.

Being a senior sucks… But, I will still miss you UNH.

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